That Archers Who's Who idea

I have been going rather slowly, but Elizabeth is now well and truly done and copy-edited for the first time, and I have cantered on through four Ellens, Mrs Elphinstone, three Elsies and two Emilys to get to Emma Grundy. She has now been in her car accident and had her thirty-six hour coma caused by a badly broken leg and no brain damage, and I am tempted to leave her in the hospital wondering whether her leg will have to be amputated. I suppose I do have to allow her out to start destroying lives


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Ooh, I should have called myself Emma Grundy’s Leg.

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Yes, that was pretty daft.

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[quote=“Gus, post:123, topic:66”]
Yes, that was pretty daft.
[/quote]It’s only a fiction 
 fgs.

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I suppose that the shock to her system might have wandered around looking for a brain to damage then given up in disgust and concentrated on her leg instead.

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A natural consequence of doing her thinking below the waist.

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Fantas. ShhhđŸ€ You have just mentioned the NazgĂ»l. We don’t want them rising again, sure we don’t.

I think it’s high time The Doctor and Bill visited TA. Possibly to reboot the whole bloody thing.

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I have had a quick skim through and cannot find the thread in which I was reporting on the progress of the Ambridge Directory; I’ll just have to start a new one in which to say that I have finally, after spending several weeks rigid with boredom and unable to bear to look for her down the pages of Lowfield for one more minute, managed to bring Fallon’s entry up to date. I have printed it out and taken it away for editing and proof-reading before getting on with a few people less interminable and possibly even a bit more interesting.

She was quite fun until the beginning of 2013, when she fell into bed with Rhys. Since then she has been dreary to a degree.

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[quote=“Fanta, post:1, topic:613”]
dreary to a degree
[/quote]Ooh, did she get one of those, then?
owowowowstoppit. Sorry, poor sorely tried Fanta. It is a major work you are undertaking and I for one salute your finny bravery. She is a tedious piece of flesh.

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O God, I think she did get some sort of qualification from college, and I have missed it. Buggerit and damn! Thanks, Gus.

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sorry

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No, no, it’s a good thing. It would be a shame to miss it out. And some knowitall wiseass, naming no names, would surely take the opportunity to point it out, ever so sweetly and no doubt with a superior smile which fortunately for her I wouldn’t be able to see.

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(With Fanta’s agreement, I’ve merged this new thread into the original.)

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Thank you, Feral. There is beer in the usual place.

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Cracking on with People Beginning With F.

Why can’t we have gentle drama like this any more?

Name: Florrie Hoskins
Notes: A ghost in Martha Woodward’s cottage, whose presence was caused by Jennifer Aldridge’s researches into village lore. Florrie had lived in Martha’s cottage many years earlier, and because she was pregnant, drowned herself in the village pond on All Hallows’ Eve. Martha asked the vicar to perform an exorcism for her, but Jennifer managed to find another cottage with the same name in Lower Loxley, and told Martha that had been where Florrie Hoskins had really lived.

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If only all the pregnant women in Ambridge would follow Florrie’s example. And expectant adoptive fathers too.

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Going slow, but since I can’t mess about elsewhere getting on with George Grundy. The poor child has been so badly frodded up by his ghastly mother and stupid stepfather:

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In July 2013 Will’s gundog Meg died, and George prayed over the grave; the arrival of a new gundog puppy at the end of the month cheered him greatly and seemed to be getting him over his religiosity, except that he insisted that the pup should be called Boaz, from his bible reading, though he settled for Baz after Will told him that the name needed to be short so that the puppy would find it easy to learn. He spent the rest of the summer helping to train Baz, so he was understandably desolated when on 29th November, 2013, he was told that Ed had shot “his” dog. He knew that Ed was angry with dogs and hated them, though he may not have fully understood that the reason was possible infection of Ed’s cattle with neospora, so he knew that Ed had done it on purpose, and he was bitterly angry with Ed. Emma had decided while he was at school and knew nothing about it that he was not to be there when Will buried the dog nor to see Baz’s corpse, and although George knew perfectly well that Baz was dead, he insisted on telling her constantly during the month that followed that he wanted Baz back, and he did not forgive Ed for his callous cruelty. He asked how God could have let Ed shoot Baz, and despite Ed’s protestations that aiming a gun at the dog and firing was an accident, George was not impressed and frankly did not believe him.
Then Ed bought George a dog for a Christmas present, and he was supposed to love Ed for it and be grateful; funnily enough this didn’t actually “take”, and he didn’t trust Ed to play with Holly and assumed Ed would try to kill her too. He wanted her with him all the time, and didn’t want to go to school and leave her in the house where Ed might find her. Then he found some rat poison Ed had put down and assumed that it was to be used to poison Holly; thereafter when he went to be with his father he wanted to take Holly with him, and in fact he wanted to leave Holly with Will where he knew she would be safe. Ed was totally opposed to this, even though the dog belonged to George and was not wanted in her house by Susan, who was fed up with cleaning the floor after her; George got his way for a short time, although Ed did his best to keep him from going to see Holly at any time other than the times Ed allowed him to visit his father at all; then in February Ed talked Nic into refusing to have Holly any more and she was sent back to Ambridge View.
And that apparently was that, with George completely forgetting all about his worries for her safety as soon as his dog was brought over on 5th February, 2014. Holly was clearly never house-trained, since she was still making messes on the floor in October 2014 and exasperating Susan, but George was happy enough for her to be kept in the same house as the dog-killing Ed.
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(And Susan was still referring to her as a puppy at that point, good god, has none of the bloody editorial team ever had a dog? This is a labrador/collie cross; she is huge, eats everything, and never sits down for more than two minutes at a time, needing five-hour walks
)

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Ambridge Dogwalking Fairy?

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Could be worse


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After a longish gap during which I have been doing very little, some more from the Directory:.

Did I mention Flora Hebblethwaite?

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Name: Flora Hepplewhite
Sorted name: Hepplewhite, Flora
Notes: Miss Hepplethwaite was used by Wilfred Proggett as a shield from the redoubtable Mrs Turvey, who had taken a fancy to him and invited him to her house for New Year’s Eve in 1956.
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Name: Mr Forsyth
Sorted name: Forsyth, Mr
Notes: Tony Archer’s solicitor, in 1977 he was called on to help Sid Perks deal with the tenants of Rose Cottage, which Sid and Polly let out in 1976 after buying it in 1975 in case they needed to leave The Bull at some point. He had to tell tham that because they had a child, the Briggses were Protected Tenants under the Rent Act, but drew up a letter giving them a month’s notice, telling them that a court order would be served if they had not paid within seven days. They promptly did a flit, but that wasn’t his fault, and Sid was glad to see the back of them and thanked him very politely.
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Name: Mrs Foster
Sorted name: Foster, Mrs
Notes: Mrs Foster advised Betty Tucker when she started to keep goats in 1975, finding her two pedigree goats to found her herd. Mrs Foster was the Secretary of the Borchester Goat Society.
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Name: Foxy Sugden
Sorted name: Sugden, Foxy
Notes: In the early 1980s Foxy Sugden was the Proprietor of the Secondhand Emporium in Borchester; acquainted with Nelson Gabriel.
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Name: Fran
Sorted name: Fran
aka: Frances
Notes: An old friend of Caroline Bone’s and a Divorced Woman, Fran was a thoroughly unsuitable person for David Archer to spend his time with, as far as Phil and Jill were concerned. She had been a nurse in Felpersham, but that was not enough to outweigh the fact that she was thirty-three and had two small children. Luckily for them, since the nineteen-year-old David was very smitten, Fran chucked him fairly soon, tactfully saying that she preferred her independence to becoming a farmer’s wife.
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Name: Frances Graham
Sorted name: Graham, Frances
Played by: Catherine Crutchley
Notes: Frances was the Borchester librarian who took the mobile library bus to Ambridge in the 1970s. She was popular, being both friendly and attractive, and several of her regular customers who had hoped to be her suitors were disappointed when it was discovered that she already had a husband, a marine biologist called Eric.
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Name: Frank Archer
Sorted name: Archer, Frank
Notes: Frank was the youngest of John and Phoebe Archer’s sons, born in 1900; unable to face the idea of being called up to fight in World War One and expected to kill people, Frank left home for New Zealand when he was still too young for his papers to arrive, and there married Laura Wilson. After his death two days before his fifty-seventh birthday his wife decided to visit Ambridge, and stayed there until the day she died.
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