tssk, Dere. Who fancies triaging second-rate Burns this time o’ night? Keep it clean and dry, go home and take a good, hard look at yourself paracetamol if needed.
‘Will you please move over and oblige me, Alice,
Yer knees are sticking in me Crystal Palace’…
Any poster knowing the source of that will be showered with watery stuff perpetually at the right temperature, gratitude, and a budget approximation of their heart’s desire.
Ahem, that’s Sergeant Second Rate Burns.
Well, those including me who voted either for the first or second trimester have lost, however the fate is still in the balance as to whether the baby will survive.
So Hedgers and Gus are still in the running and no one has voted for the last two options.
Wrong…
Is it too much to hope that his ringside seat at last night’s sordid proceedings will have put Jazzer off houghmagandie for life?
The poor little girl will be traumatized forever by opening her eyes and seeing Jazzer as the CA said
I don’t think it will bother her for long, Twellsy, which is a mercy really…
I was being hopeful!
Anything that bovvers \alice is a good thing
And Jazzer seeing a vagina doing the other thing it is meant for rather than sex has to be a good thing!
Does it? Oh, okay then.
Are they though? Has a premature baby that expires after living long enough to cry died ‘in the third trimester’, or ‘later than that’?
Or, um, both?
Chris will be grateful to Jazzer and also annoyed that Jazzer was present at the birth of poor wee girl
Imagine having Jenny and Susan as Grannies
And Lillian Tracy and Pat as Great Aunts
And Kate and Emmur as aunts!
Definitely ‘both’.
If the only thing wrong with it is prematurity and it is otherwise healthy, I am going to be seriously dischuffed.
I want recriminations between team Aldridge and team Carter and much wailing and gnashing. Ideally these would be set off by the cause of the sprog’s defectiveness being revealed but I would settle for Brian pressing ‘just a small glass’ of champagne on Alice and that tipping her back into full dipso mode.
For purposes of my sweepstake, if at some point the Spawn is outside Alice and its life is not utterly despaired of, but within a month of that moment of birth (or caesarean or whatever) it dies, that counts as “dies later than that [the third trimester]”. If on the other hand the medics aren’t expecting it to live and it fairly immediately obliges them by not living any more, that’s “dies in the third trimester”. (Note that the order of options seems to be different for different people.)
Is there a category for listeners losing the will to live?
And Martha it is…
As in “Vineyard”?
I am horrified to report that TA tweets have appeared welcoming Martha Jasmine Carter to Ambridge. This does not bode well, I feel.
Do you mean tweets from the BBCArchers Twitter account or the listeners, TFM?
Snork, joe!
Actually I think that makes it more likely that she will die; a sort of double bluff.