Ambridge Reporter Shorter English Dictionary


Sudoku: a bovine impersonator, esp. in Scotland


Maastricht Disciplinarian mother
Rotterdam Very nasty mother


Amsterdam: “Your father was [probably] a hamster” too.


Kilheffernan To slaughter a calf’s mother
Kilmacow An abattoir
Killinaspick Death by jelly


Harpic: tool for cleaning bits of canapé out of a harp


Phallocracy Government by pricks


Spheroid: S’quite like a real fear, but made up


Shellac: what an ear is, particularly when listening to one’s collection of 78s

Scrimshaw: 'Appen th’art right, lad: that is one of young Atkinson’s


Balloon an insane bear
Lavish like a toilet (as in “The bedrooms were lavish…”)


Tirade - Smash & grab from Tie Tack

Regiment - Jack McVitie identifying the wrong Kray twin.

Pointless - A broken pencil


Cross-dressing result of unscheduled ringing of doorbell


abattoir material for restringing tennis racquets
concur a recidivist dog
customize bespoke narcotics
semaphore two
semantics misbehaviour by naval personnel
sycophant a malingering pachyderm


Fortify: to smite someone with middle age


extrovert excessively green


Pretend - To pay in advance

Prequel - Before, before pen & ink

Present - … oh, you get the picture.


Co-operate - two surgeons
Correspond - two replies
Conker - a nose surgeon


decagon TripAdvisor review posted from Titanic


Diadem: ‘They are a bit crap, really.’ Truth, dat.


Espuma: ‘No, ees just large domestic cat’.

Between the rewilding bollocks and Masterchef, I think I am losing the last vestiges of my mind.


Facsimile: what Zeus did.