Book of Proverbs, Cellarite Version

Remember thine message board hosts that thine erudite deliberations may not be deleted in a fit of pique

6 Likes

Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: but for pity’s sake also wash thine hands in the Brook of Eshcol and lick not of the latches of thine neighbour’s door. For he is an mucky bugger and unpleasing to the watchers of the Lord, who tracketh as they traceth, through ways no man can fathom.

6 Likes

What profiteth it a Sparrer if he gain an half-brick and an lead pipe and every kind of kit even unto an little slitty knife, if he loseth his own Shopping List?

6 Likes

When incarcerated in the plague pit it payeth greatly in the way your personal care is enhanced if you are polite and grateful with a smile and a flirtatious comment to handsome young male gnursies

6 Likes

Even the blackest cloud has an edge -
but since the buggers can float about, you’ll get wet anyway

6 Likes

A Bird in the hand probably has high explosives concealed in the shrubbery.

5 Likes

Was the use of the word’shrubbery’ a happy accident, or did you consider saying ‘explosives concealed in the bush’ and then reject it as bad taste?

5 Likes

When, in your brief but fairly unconstrained acquaintance with me, have you noticed me deferring to notions of good taste, eh?

However, knowin’ the Bird I had in mind, a full shrubbery would be needed. Never knowingly 'under-catered ', one might say.

PS: a not-proven tseep is traditional at this juncture, Dunnock. Also, that Fatsia will never be the same again. Or different again. It would appear to have been vaporized.

5 Likes

Must’ve caught fire in all the hot wevver we’ve bin havin’ lately.

(contemplates soggy fevvers)

Look over there, it’s Elvis!

5 Likes

Not all shiny squirrels are called Elvis, you know. Speciesist and reflectionist. Tsk.

5 Likes

love thy fellow posters that there be no modding needed of your posts

5 Likes

[deleted by moderator]

5 Likes

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like bad taste.

(sorry, Oscar)

5 Likes