So, who wants to help ... to cower in the cellar?


Can anyone with an insight into the feathered mind explain why shouting one’s head off at 04:15 is a good plan.
Gus, converting some frankly inadequate knicker elastic and a couple of emery boards into a primitive catapult. xx


Look on the bright side—we have to deal with a veritable male voice choir


If you do the dawn chorus thing on your way home from the party, you don’t have to wake up later to do it at dawn.



Try having a blackbird nest under your bedroom winndow
Bluddy thing yells at 11.30 pm then goes off at 4.30 am waking every bird in the neighbourhood

I frequently contemplate pie and saying sing now you buggas as I hurf the pie in the oven!


Overheard at the next table: “does anyone have any carnivores?”


Snorkity snork wee birdie

Ulster fry on the table folk


Blackbirds? Try herring gulls for volume.

(More poo too.)


This works too and is less likely to peck or crap


I like gulls and miss them

I was dragged up on a beach

Even though we are about three miles from the sea as the gull flies we miss them

We do have owls and bats though

As the parrot calls back to the blackbird I get the racket from the house and garden

We hardly ever close doors indoors





No time for flumping: there is a Hound on a Rope to attend to.


I have the bbq lit and am waiting for friends to arrive

I am serving me smoked salmon and southern style chicken in a spiced coat with herby potato salad

Pud is peach melba

I hope that there is enough

Simple and tasty food


I like them too actually. Most people seem to hate them and view them as a pest but I rather admire them in a way - their adaptability and tenacity are extraordinary. They are extremely noisy though, when they nest on your roof.

Gus, you made I larf. I have tried to think of a witty reply but failed. Nuffink new there then.


People who like seagulls are rarely people who have seen seagulls mobbing the balcony of a hospital, the only place where patients could smoke in those days, and literally tearing patients’ hair. They have a dangerous beak on them.


Taxonomically speaking, there is no such meaning, Fishers, as I’m certain you’ll know. We have seabirds regularly performing sorties over our village but they don’t make too much noise. Blackbirds, Robins, Wrens alike all make loud noises in the early morn, but they don’t bother me none. I just roll over and go straight back to sleep. If I’m not worriting about something or other.

Soo xx


Oh I’m well aware they’re evil, that just doesn’t stop me liking them! Hmm, I guess it depends what you mean by like, as I said, I admire them as a species. Plus, I suppose, they are a kind of symbol of ‘home’ to me - sounds as though they could be that for Twellsy too.


Well, don’t tell Hedgers this but, I have a great admiration for Sparrowhawks. They are very evil in their predatory, nasty ways, but they are beautiful. Very rarely bother with the wily sparrows, tbf, but the Collared Doves often cop it. Not at this time of year, as I imagine that the surrounding fields probably contain enough Woodpigeon or Collared Dove squabs to satisfy their rapacious appetites.
Soo xx


We have some pigeon fevvas on our lawn. Aleays a sign the Sparra’awk’s visited.

We’ve also gained a paor of Jays. Beautiful birds, but bad news for anything nesting.


As are Magpies and we have several pairs of these with their feebly ‘peeping’ offspring. We could save a small fortune in birdfeed, but we encourage them all - the long and the short and the tall - into our teeny garden. Carrion crows have pillaged (ad nauseam) the nests of sparrows. I may need a gin.

Soo xx


Our garden’s range of birds is quite amazing. I am always interested by their various ‘pecking orders’. Also, at different times of the year we’ll be inundated by ones which later move on … replaced by others so you don’t particularly miss to leavers.

Magpie’s, yes. We’ve had a few this year & I can never see them without thinking of the TV show & it’s song.

Oh, & Susan Stranks !! … Jenny Hanley, not so much.