Some things one is supposed never to lose the knack of, like riding a bicycle. OK, that one is a big fat LIE, but bear with me.
When I were but a small Guslet, I could get the last molecules out of a crisp packet, no problem; pulverise the last tiny crisps and tip the whole lot into wide open gob - job done. Well, being in the privacy of me own home, with not even the cat around to set a bad example to, I was loath to leave any Smoky Bacon deliciousness to the enemy and resurrected the tried and trusted technique.
Ten minutes later, I have almost stopped coughing. In a few years we may find out whether small particles of smoky bacon lodged in the lungs cause crisposis.
The said quadruped has returned and is currently disconcerted in the extreme. He wanted his lunch - nay, he was starving - so as I ladled out the chow, he was stretching up to the counter with an imploring paw: a paw which just happened to nudge a Bramley apple perched near the edge.
Does he blame himself? Does he blame gravity? Does he heckaslike! I am a wicked, apple-hurling Cat Beater, that’s what I apparently am. lthough he is now steadying his shattered nerves with a little chicken in jelly…
Yesterday I trod on Heidi’s paw (don’t worry, not hard) as I came in the door and she got tangled in my feet in her eagerness for food. Afterwards, you could see the two ideas working in her catty brain: one, avoid the foot-squishing monster, two, said monster provides dinner. She went halfway up the stairs and peered at me through the railings while I apologised profusely, followed me to the kitchen keeping a safe distance, fled underneath a chair while I put her food on the tray and waited for me to step away from the food before chowing down.
I am at the plague pit with yon Bull what needs an eye looked at after he managed to hit the peeper with a cable end while dismantling the entertainment corner and moving it
Well, I guess I can say quite confidently that direct intracranial satellite TV feed doesn’t work terribly well, better stick to using a receiver and telly
Waiting for eye drops to take effect so doc can look at the back of the eye, but hopefully it’s just something that will get better itself … drops only in one eye so I can still drive home!
When Feral was at a certain infernal ISP, one of the admins looked down an STM-1 (transatlantic communication fibre full of laser light) “to see what would happen”. Half an hour later he could see again out of that eye.
