Sturmey Archer’s Slipped Cogs


I think that was about the time at which I started to say “Mawk! Mawk! Mawk!” with increasing volume.


Did you then lay an egg, dere?


Actrix: sporting feats whereby a bowler dismisses three batsmen with successive deliveries

“What care I if sciatica comes,
If elephantiasis calls?
I bowled three cricketing Thesps
With three consecutive balls”

And now I am going to have to chase down the origin of that, drat you :wink:


…the only thing your mention of cricket brings to this wretched mind is:

"The boy stood on the burning deck
Playing a game of cricket
The ball ran up his trouser-leg
and stumped his middle-wicket!" :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing: :roll_eyes:

(…wiv’ apologies to Mrs. Felicia Dorothea Hemans)


Had she designs on the boy?


And I have. It is from Cricket Songs by Norman Gale, 1896.

The Church Cricketant
I bowled three sanctified souls
With three consecutive balls!
What do I care if Blondin trod
Over Niagra Falls?
What do I care for the loon in the Pit
Or the gilded Earl in the Stalls?
I bowled three curates once
With three consecutive balls!

I caused three protestant ‘ducks’
With three consecutive balls!
Poets may rave of lily girls
Dancing in marble halls!
What do I care for a bevy of yachts
Or a dozen or so of yawls?
I bowled three curates once
With three consecutive balls!

I bowled three cricketing priests
With three consecutive balls!
What if a critic pounds a book
What if an author squalls?
What do I care if sciatica comes
Elephantiasis calls?
I bowled three curates once
With three consecutive balls.


Well found! and worthy, too.


Monday December the twenty-turd!
…well, here we go again, more turds, piled ever so much higher and ever so much deeper!
Six words:
Holy Jesus Christ on a Cornflake!
…well, what else is there to say?
Ho Ho Ho?
(…nope, somehow I think not! :nauseated_face::nauseated_face::nauseated_face::nauseated_face::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting::face_vomiting:)


Yuletide! December twenty-fifthish! Ho Ho Ho!

…this is almost as bad as looking at the family snaps!

Bloody Charades? (…now who do we know (hint: famous (deceased) Royal Personage) who loved to play Charades?)

…living proofage that t’Archers 'ave ideas above their station!

Bestest line in Yule Epi:
BaconBoy: “…yes! yes! …alright, I’m an idiot!” (equal first)
unidentified cast-member: “…you can say that again!” (equal first)

(later) PolPat: (about BaconBoy) “…I could swing for him!”

RestOfWorld: “…oooohh, YES PLEASE!!!!”

Ho! Ho! Ho!
(…yeah, right! :roll_eyes: )


So, Ollie Foxybrush has finally lost it!

(aside:) Hush! …what’s that noise?

RestOfWorld: “…just Caroline spinning in her grave!”


I bet she is, but “It’s what Joe would have wanted”!


The best Christmas Clarrieluv ever had

No slaving to pander to the Grundy menfolk


I just had some truffle-infused salami … via Lidl.

I may never eat anything else. Ever.


Fear not, Armrest. I survived, and so dv will you.

Cold gammon and bubble & squeak tonight. < purrrs >


Oooh, bubble and squeak… Yes! And we have some cooked gammon in the freezer.


…but surely (Shirley) you need spinach with that!

…well, “Heigh ho! says Rowley”

(…for more see: (
(…PS: good luck wiv yer courtin’ :thinking: )


St Steven’s Day: Scrape, scrape scrape!

Angus? (…who he?¹)

¹ latest parachuted-in pretentious prat (…sounds like the perfect match for Kenny)

Sounds like a case for PCWoodenCop “'Ullo, 'ullo, 'ullo, Oooo whacked Eccles then?”

Oh well, (…looking at watch) better get out and hunt some wrens! (…it’s 22:02 on this side of t’Pond)


He did rather deserve being called ‘Kenny’, don’t you think, after all the ‘Daves’ he has inflicted on his brother (or ‘bro’).


…most definitely! (…I’ve even heard “KennyBoy” in these circles! :grin: )


Friday December 27th: Scrap, scrape, scrape, wipe! …flush!

Zummer Weddin’ ? …sounds like a chance for BrokeFailed "Weddin’s R Us"

…and so it goes!

…I can’t help but wonder: …does the twenty-grand include air-fare? …one-way for some guests (we hope)