Sturmey Archer’s Slipped Cogs


#561

Well, since she got that terrible throat infection…


#562

Maybe ‘worried’ is not quite the right word, but it did occur to me that the SWs might take the opportunity to kill her off.


#563

“…When help arrived, among the dead
Were Silent Kathy, Little Fred,
The Snell-beast (good riddance) - for whom
O nether pits of Hell, make room! -
Because she in the staff-room stayed.
And I am dreadfully afraid
That soufflé-bothering Hugh, the Chef,
Will now be permanently deaf”…

Not Belloc, but belliclose :wink:


#564

What about Gavin?

And Roy?

We know The Horrible is fine

The anticipation of the schadenfreude is making me all excited

A little list

Of those who won’t be missed

Is what I have


#565

A little list??


#566

Mundaneday’s sludge:

…oooh, the screamin’ an’ hollerin’ an’ explosionizationisins

"Where’s the wotas?" (Good old Woy)

(from the Beeb site:) “One resident finds themselves in a desperate situation”

Question: “…does FatDan live in Ambridge?”

…yes, Freddy, we can hear you. Now shut the f*** up!

…methinks the Freddy is overacting! …just a bit?

(…thinks:) I’ll replay all those exploserasitions again! …good stuff! (…hits rewind)


#567

Gavin in a coma (it’s the TA way) has could be A Very Good Thing. Not only will it shut him up for a while but raises the possibility of a parental reconciliation during the bedside vigil. Kirsty’s long overdue another dumping…


#568

Prune juice is yer man for that, Kirsty dear.


#569

Really? How can they tell? …anyway, I thought the works¹ van is a Ford? (…for those not familiar with work-vehicles used in Blighty back in the days!)

¹ hint: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commer (…thanks wiki)


#570

Ford? Bedford, maybe…


#571

…arrrrgggghhhhh, I s’pect yo’um roight! (…I think oi’ve been 'ere on LeftSide of t’Pond for a bit too long! …36½ years too long!)


#572

It’s not Gavin though, is it? Gavin left one of ‘the men’ (an unqualified one) to do the job while he skived off and spent the day in bed. And ‘the man’ is prob’ly dead.


#573

Gawds - you mean we’re stuck with the whiny git?


#574

I got so irritated by the badly-written script that I went and found the BBC synopsis for last night.

"It’s still Sunday in Ambridge. Emma calls 999 to report the explosion at Grey Gables. Tracy finds Roy who is bleeding from the head but managing, and encouraging everyone to follow the evacuation procedure. Together they try to work out which members of staff are on site.
"A stunned Oliver emerges from his office and Roy hurries him out. Emma takes care of Oliver who is in shock and Roy fends off a guest trying to get back into the building. A doorway has completely collapsed cutting off any access to the staff room and kitchen. Tracy and Roy worry for the builder and Lynda; no one realises Freddie is also inside.
“Freddie comes to, and sees Lynda not far from him. He struggles free from fallen debris and realises they are trapped. He tries to revive Lynda but she is unresponsive. He spots the builder, Blake, who is also lying still. Freddie hears Roy calling from outside and with great difficulty he drags Lynda out of a fire exit. Firefighters and paramedics arrive on the scene and Freddie reports that the builder is still inside. Tracy, Roy and Freddie worry about Lynda while she receives medical attention. Freddie’s terrified he didn’t get her out in time.”

So not Gavin (boo, hiss), and Freddie must have teleported from the staff-room into the kitchen in order to be knocked down in there and end up near Lynda and Blake the Builder (doesn’t have the same ring as Bob). Either that or the explosion was an implosion really and sucked him in through the door.


#575

Talk to people who’ve worked with explosives, make up the most wildly unlikely scenario, and they’ll probably say “yeah, that could happen”. Which doesn’t mean it’s something to bet on…

Spinal injury, spinal injury, spinal injury. Oh, Freddie, did they teach you nothing in the nick?


#576

If it’s a choice between wheelchair or dead the wheelchair is suddenly attractive

Freddie is now a HERO who will be found a better position as reward

Apprentice chef who outshines Ian in due course?


#577

So maybe Little Fred won’t be the big hero after all. That would be more palatable than the sudden rehabilitation I thought they might have in mind for the character.


#578

And since the builder was still in there, his proper course of action would be to go and get help for both of them, not drag one of them about. Unless the whole place were in flames, which since the floor had exploded a few feet away it won’t have been or they would already have been dead.

God the BBC are so bad at this story-construction racket!


#579

Did we know on air that the builder/body was called Blake? I don’t think we did. So that’s a bit crap of them too.


#580

First I’ve heard of it, certainly.