Viral DOOM

[HedgeSparrow]

@Gus

Dear Expert,
Is it safe to slap someone silly so long as one washes one’s hands thoroughly afterwards? Asking for a friend.
Gus

[I wonder how long will it be post-slapping before the Expert realises that I have also stolen her soap. All of it.]

Best to use a stick at least 2m long, and a full-face mask in case of castoff and spray.